Terrible Twos

2026-07-19

I remember when people first mentioned terrible twos I thought the idea was a little silly. There is some magic age when kids turn into demons and then sometimes later they turn back into kids (I guess when they turn three?).

I do think kids are all kind of different, I was (and still am) a pretty passive person. And I remember one kid from my childhood who got really upset, Scott (I dont think he was two, he was probably more like seven), and his mom would count to ten with him. I was a pretty chill kid so I didn’t relate, also I was a little bit older than him. My brother, as a kid, on the other hand was quicker to anger and I sometimes saw his rage. Again, everyone is different.

But back to terrible twos, for our first kid his twos came and went and he wasn’t terrible at all. He had some tantrums and meltdowns but it was well within the range or normal. His twos were uneventful. I did not understand what all of the fuss was about.

But with our second kid he has started his terrible twos a bit early. He is 1.75 years old and he throws tantrums. They aren’t as bad as you see on TV, he doesn’t throw himself to the ground or cry until he throws up, so that is nice, a silver lining, but also he is very quick to anger. Let’s say he has a bowl full of snacks and he wants more. If I say, ‘no more snacks it is almost dinner’ he will throw all of the snacks on the ground with an indignant expression on his face, then he will throw the metal bowl, he will then say ‘bad job’ (his protest phrase), and then he will cry because his snacks are on the floor. Sometimes he will try to slap my face if he doesn’t like something I have said. These instances aren’t that often, maybe once a week, but when they do happen with regularity.

And again it isn’t as bad as some others, but it is just a reminder to me that kids are different and have pretty different personalities and I dont have control over that. You don’t get to pick your kids, and they don’t get to pick their parents. Some kids need structure and some kids need space. Some kids need discipline and some need compassion. Blah blah blah.

I was overconfident with the experiences of our first kid, much too overconfident. And so I am a bit more patient with our second kid, sometimes I see the rage in his eyes. And so after he throws all of his snacks on the ground, I calm him down, wipe away his tears, and then give him more snacks.

And I assume as a teenager with his hormones pumping, it will be a different ball game. Terrible twos, teenage years, I wonder if there are any other particularly hard ages.

-Gary